A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 about to be 21 she's 17 about to be 18We meet each other in high school We worked together for atleast a yearI was dating a girl Broke up with her to be with the girl I'm currently withThen broke Up with her and go back with the orginial girl I was dating I joined the Army I was going to get married It didn't work outNow I'm back with the girl whose about to be 18I love her with all my heart We live about 10 hours apartI go out and drink and go party and etc I don't take her feelings into consideration I keep bringing my ex into our relationship I don't appreciate her good enoughI'm desensitized to her feelings I get mad at her when we fightI don't see her side of anything We fight a lotI lost her last night and for good She's a smart and beautiful women (who I'm hoping is reading this) But I need help someone tell me what I need to do I'm trying to remake her as my priority but I need help Someone ANYONE GIVE ME ADVISE
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 March 2016):
 I think you need to concentrate on you at the moment. You are still young, and have been in and out and back in a relationship again with these two girls. It is time to cool things off. Accept that you have made mistakes and move on from these two girls. Concentrate on you and your career, it doesn't sound like you are ready just yet to settle down. Enjoy life.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 March 2016):
 I think you you need to slow down. You are ONLY 20, and at 20 most guys are REALLY not mature enough for a good healthy relationship. They love the IDEA of it, the reality though not so much.
And getting married so young, when you can't even HAVE a healthy relationship is shooting yourself in the foot. Because a ring on your finger and some vows, will NOT make you a good husband. It takes maturity. It takes know what's expected, it takes putting someone else before yourself.
She is BARELY 18, so again she isn't mature either. But unlike guys girls tend to understand what being in a relationship means.
The military can be a stressful job. And it might be that for a time you NEED to focus on that. Specially if you are considering a career in the military.
You still want to go out and drink and party (do remember to use protection EVERY time you "party" with a girl) which means for you... right now, the priority is YOU. Not a relationship. And again, it's PRETTY normal for your age group.
You know SHE deserves better. And right now you CAN'T give her better.
Sorry, there is no quick fix here. Other than YOU need to grow up and mature. And that... might take some time.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (7 March 2016):
Well, you say you've lost her for good so it's difficult to know how to advise you after the except except to move on and take a long hard look at yourself and your behaviour so you don't go down the same road.
You list the reasons for you break-up very eloquently but only you know why you behaved as you did and why you did nothing to fix it while you were still a couple.
Everybody has their breaking point and it sounds like your GF finally reached hers. The only way to get her back is to apologise and ask her if she wants to give the relationship another try. There are no special ways of wording things or magic phrases that will bring her back if she really has decided to break up with you for good. Even begging promises to change or try harder may not be effective if you've made these promises before and not stuck to them.
Or were you asking for help on HOW to make her your priority? Because it may be too late once the horse has bolted.
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